A CANDLE LOSES NOTHING BY
  LIGHTING ANOTHER CANDLE...

IT IS EASIER TO
  BUILD A CHILD...

Than to repair an adult!

  NO COFFEE...

No workee!

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS STAY
ON THE SHALLOW END!

  BE YOURSELF...

An original is always worth more than a copy!

 THOSE IN THE FREE SEATS...

Are usually the first to hiss!

WEL.COM

I ALWAYS TRY TO GO THE
  EXTRA MILE...

But my boss keeps finding me and brings me back!

  WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH...

How about a fountain of smart!

ROME DID NOT CREATE A GREAT
  EMPIRE BY HAVING MEETINGS...

They did it by eliminating all those
who opposed them!

  MY SHORT-TERM MEMORY...

Ain't what it...something...something!

IF YOU DON'T KNOW
  WHERE YOU'RE GOING...

You'll probably end up somewhere else!

 THERE IS LITTLE REWARD IN
  BEING A GOOD PREVENTER...

Nobody ever knows just how many
bad things you may have prevented!

 I USED TO BE INDECISIVE...

Now, I'm not sure if I am or not!

  GET INVOLVED...

The world is run by those who show up!

 "WE ARE HERE ON EARTH TO
  DO GOOD FOR OTHERS...

What the others are here for, I don't know."

                                                  ....W.H. Auden

DO NOT EMBARK ON VAST
  UNDERTAKINGS...

With half-vast ideas!

  MY DESK MAY BE CLUTTERED...

But my mind is empty!

AN EDUCATION CAREER ISN'T ALL
  FRUSTRATION AND CUTBACKS...

There's the exciting physical danger!

  WE ALL HAVE GIFTS...

We just tend to open them at different times!

ANY CHILDREN LEFT UNATTENDED IN THIS OFFICE WILL BE GIVEN A FREE KITTEN!

"LISTEN" CONTAINS THE
SAME LETTERS AS THE
WORD "SILENT!"

  CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER...

 My work here is almost done!

  47.7% OF ALL STATISTICS...

Are made up on the spot!

  THE BOSS...

Is always right. Misinformed perhaps, maybe a
little sloppy, sometimes a bit crude, fickle,
bullheaded, even stupid, but never wrong!

THE PROBABILITY OF
  FINDING ME AT THIS DESK...

Is inversely proportional to the
magnitude of your urgency!

  NO AMOUNT OF PLANNING...

Will ever replace dumb luck!

THE BIGGEST LEARNING
  DISABILITY...

Is knowing all the answers!

OFFICIAL NOTICE!

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

SOME DRINK FROM THE
  FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE...

Others only gargle a bit!

YOU CAN NAME YOUR OWN
  SALARY HERE...

I call mine "Fred"!

GOOD JUDGMENT COMES
  FROM EXPERIENCE...

Experience comes from bad judgment!

BEFORE YOU PLANT
  THE SEEDS...

Be sure you can tend the flowers!

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
  THIS PLACE AND THE TITANIC...

They had a band!

REMAIN.COM

  I'LL BE RIGHT BACK...

Had to take my paycheck to the bank.
It's too little to go by itself!

THE ONLY THING IN THE
  WORLD THAT IS "NORMAL"...

Is the setting on a washing machine!