Our "Monday Morning Ed-U-Upper" has become
the most widely read e-mail periodical directed to educators.
It's free and goes all over the world every Monday
morning. You will find it short, filled with humor, quotes, motivational
pieces, fresh ideas, and bits of this and that.
We hope you'll try it. It's easy to get on, and very
easy to get off.
School Nurse, Vol. I Desk Signs...
Note: Depending on the fonts installed
on your computer, and the way your computer browser is set up, these
desk signs may not display properly.
(Ask for a free 10-pack sample the
next time you place an order. Then you'll be able to see the quality,
and the fun, of these "Desk Signs.")
$5.00 FINE FOR WHINING
SUPPORT BACTERIA...
They're the only culture some people have!
FRIENDLY SCHOOL NURSE...
Thanks for keeping me that way!
MANY THINGS CAN BE
PRESERVED IN ALCOHOL...
Dignity is not one of them!
SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO TALENT
FOR COUNTING
CALORIES...
And they have the figures to prove it!
IT'S NOT THE PACE
OF LIFE
THAT
CONCERNS MOST PEOPLE...
It's the sudden stop at the end!
SOME DAYS YOU'RE
THE BUG...
And, some days you're the windshield!
IS IT TIME FOR
YOUR MEDICATION?
Or mine?
AN APPLE A DAY...
Keeps the doctor away. An onion a day...
keeps everyone away!
NURSING THE WORLD...
One kid at a time!
ACCEPT THAT SOME DAYS
YOU'RE THE PIGEON...
And some days you're the statue!
A WOMAN...
Has to do twice as much as a man
to
be considered half as good.
Fortunately, this isn't difficult!
WHAT PART OF "NO"...
Don't you understand?
EVERYONE BRINGS ME
HAPPINESS...
Some by arriving. Some by leaving!
WOULDN'T IT BE SIMPLER...
To isolate and label the few things that
aren't harmful to your health!
TELL ME AGAIN HOW
LUCKY I
AM TO BE A NURSE HERE...
I keep forgetting!
PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN...
Before starting tongue!
IS IT FRIDAY YET?
A WAIST IS A TERRIBLE
THING TO MIND!
BEAUTY COMES IN
ALL SIZES!
BEFORE YOU PLANT
THE SEEDS...
Be sure you can tend the flowers!
WE ARE ALL LIKE TEABAGS...
You can't tell how strong we are until
we get into hot water!
SMOKING HELPS YOU
LOSE WEIGHT...
One lung at a time!
"HALF OF THE TROUBLES OF
THIS LIFE CAN BE TRACED...
To saying 'yes' too quickly and not saying
'no' soon enough."
...Josh
Billings
PARENT BY CHOICE...
Not by chance!
BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT...
Repeat!
THERE CANNOT BE
A CRISIS TODAY...
My schedule is already full.
BE SAFETY CONSCIOUS...
80% of people are caused by accidents!
WHEN SOMEONE IS HAVING
A BAD DAY...
Be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently!
SIGN
IN, AND WRITE YOUR
SYMPTOMS IN THE BOX...
(Please print)
PAIN AND SUFFERING
IS INEVITABLE...
But misery is optional.
I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT...
Which way did you come in?
THE PROBABILITY OF FINDING
ME IN THIS OFFICE...
Is inversely proportional to the
magnitude
of your urgency!
FITNESS STARTS...
With a healthy attitude!
IF YOU ARE GROUCHY,
IRRITABLE,
OR JUST PLAIN MEAN...
There will be a $10.00 charge
for putting up with you!
DO THEY EVER DO ANYTHING
BESIDES COMPLAIN ON YOUR
PLANET?
WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS...
Read the directions!
BRAIN CELLS COME AND
BRAIN CELLS GO...
But fat cells live forever!
GOOD HEALTH...
The slowest possible rate of dying!
OFFICIAL
COMPLAINT FORM
(Please print)
Keep in mind, computer-generated images
don't come close to matching the quality and impact of these 3.5" x
2" Desk Signs sitting in a business-card sized holder on your desk.
Paperbacks For Educators
426 West Front St.
Washington, Missouri 63090 800-227-2591; Fax 800-514-7323 paperbacks@usmo.com
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