"CHILDREN WILL SOON FORGET
  YOUR PRESENTS...

They will always remember your presence!"
               
                                     ...James Dobson

EVERY MOTHER IS A
WORKING MOTHER!

  MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL...

I'm like my mother after all.

 A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW...

It will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car
I drove...but the world may be different
because I was important in the life of
a child!

  IT'S NOT AN EMPTY NEST...

Until they get their stuff out of the basement!

THE FLOORS ARE CLEAN,
  THE PLACE IS NEAT...

If I were you, I'd wipe my feet!

  WHO ARE THESE KIDS...

And why do they keep calling me mom?

WORK CAN WAIT WHILE YOU
   SHOW A CHILD THE RAINBOW...

The rainbow won't wait while you do the work!

 DISCOVER WILDLIFE...

Have children!

 TEENAGERS...

Are cruel and unusual punishment
for having sex years ago!

 INSANITY IS HEREDITARY...

You get it from your kids!

  BEING A PARENT...

Is like being pecked to death by a duck!

 RAISING TEENAGERS...

Is a lot like nailing Jell-O to a tree!

PARENTS USED TO HAVE
  LOTS OF KIDS...

Now kids have lots of parents!

 A PARENT'S "GOLDEN AGE"...

Is the period when your kids are too old for a
babysitter and too young to take the car!

SHOUTING AT YOUR CHILDREN
  TO GET THEIR COOPERATION...

Is about the same as steering your car
using the horn...same results!

  ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN...

While they're still on your side!

I LOVE TO GIVE
  HOMEMADE GIFTS...

Which one of the kids would you like?

 A HOME'S TEMPERATURE...

Is best maintained by warm hearts,
not cold words, or hot heads!

MOTHERS OF TEENAGERS
KNOW WHY SOME ANIMALS
EAT THEIR YOUNG!

"THERE ARE ONLY TWO LASTING
BEQUESTS WE CAN HOPE TO GIVE
OUR CHILDREN...

One of these is roots; the other, wings."

                                             ...Hodding Carter

COUNTRIES NEED
  BOUNDARIES...

And so do children!

$5.00 FINE FOR WHINING

$5.00 FINE
FOR WHIMPERING

  AGENDA FOR THE DAY...

Drop off kids.
Pick up kids.
Drop off kids.
Pick up kids.
Drop off kids.

WE MAY NOT HAVE IT
  ALL TOGETHER...

But, together we have it all.

 BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS...

They get to choose your nursing home!

ADULT EDUCATION WILL
  CONTINUE...

As long as kids have homework!

  AVENGE YOURSELF...

Live long enough to be a problem to your kids!

 "A FAMILY"...

A group of people, no two of whom like
breakfast eggs cooked the same way!

  A "MAN ABOUT TOWN"...

The type of guy you'd like to be your son,
but you don't want dating your daughter!

TELL ME AGAIN HOW LUCKY
  I AM TO BE A PARENT...

I keep forgetting!

  I HATE TO ADMIT IT...

But we are now the type of people
our parents warned us about!

THIS MESS IS A PLACE!

 "IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE...

He learns to appreciate."

                                             ...Dorothy Nolte

RICHER THAN ME,
  YOU WILL NEVER BE...

I had a mother who read to me!

 I'M NOT DEAF...

I'm ignoring you!

 I'M NOT A PARENT...

I'm a family equipment manager!