Our "Monday Morning Ed-U-Upper" has become
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It's free and goes all over the world every Monday
morning. You will find it short, filled with humor, quotes, motivational
pieces, fresh ideas, and bits of this and that.
We hope you'll try it. It's easy to get on, and very
easy to get off.
Retirement, Volume II, Desk Signs...
Note: Depending on the fonts installed
on your computer, and the way your computer browser is set up, these
desk signs may not display properly.
(Ask for a free 10-pack sample the
next time you place an order. Then you'll be able to see the quality,
and the fun, of these "Desk Signs.")
THERE ARE THREE STAGES OF LIFE...
Youth, middle age, and “you’re lookin’ good!”
AGE IS IMPORTANT...
Only if you’re wine or cheese!
THE OLDER YOU GET...
The tougher it is to lose weight,
because by then your body and
your fat are really good friends.
THE BEST WAY TO FORGET
ALL YOUR TROUBLES...
Is to wear tight shoes!
WOMEN OVER 50 NEVER
HAVE BABIES...
They would never remember
where they left them!
FORGET THE HEALTH FOODS...
I need all the preservatives I can get!
BRAIN CELLS COME AND GO...
But fat cells live forever!
AGE DOESN’T ALWAYS
BRING WISDOM...
Sometimes age comes alone!
MY MIND NOT ONLY
WANDERS...
Sometimes it leaves completely!
I FINALLY GOT MY
HEAD TOGETHER...
And now my body is falling apart!
LATELY, I SPEND A LOT
OF TIME
THINKING ABOUT
THE HEREAFTER...
I go somewhere to get something,
and then wonder what I’m here after!
I’M NOT GETTING OLDER...
I’m getting bitter!
OLD IS ALWAYS...
15 years older than I am!
GENUINE ANTIQUE PERSON...
They just don’t make them like this anymore!
GOD GRANT ME...
The senility to forget the people I never
liked anyway, the good fortune to run into
the ones that I do, and the eyesight to
tell the difference!
IT IS EASIER TO
GET OLDER...
Than it is to get wiser!
FUNNY, I DON’T REMEMBER BEING ABSENT-MINDED...
IF ALL IS NOT LOST...
Where is it?
IF THINGS GET BETTER
WITH AGE...
Then I’m approaching magnificent!
OF ALL THE THINGS
I’VE LOST...
I miss my mind the most!
AGE IS A VERY HIGH PRICE
TO PAY FOR MATURITY...
I LIKE MY BIFOCALS...
My dentures fit me fine,
My hearing aid is perfect,
But, Lord how I miss my mind!
“THE OLDER I GROW...
The more I distrust the familiar doctrine
that age brings wisdom.”
...H.L. Mencken
NOSTALGIA IS LIKE A
GRAMMAR LESSON...
You find the present tense,
and the past perfect!
“AGE IS AN ISSUE OF
MIND OVER MATTER...
If you don’t mind...it doesn’t matter!”
...Mark Twain
I’M RETIRED...
But I work part-time getting even with
my kids
by spoiling my grandkids!
MY IDEA OF A “HAPPY HOUR”...
Is a nap!
ALL REPORTS ARE IN...
Life is officially unfair!
GROWING OLD IS
MANDATORY...
Growing up is optional.
CONSCIOUSNESS...
That annoying time between naps!!
OLD TEACHERS NEVER DIE...
They just grade away!
TIME IS A GREAT HEALER...
But it's a lousy beautician!
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHETHER YOUR MISSION ON EARTH IS FINISHED...
If you're alive, it isn't!
ADD LIFE TO YOUR YEARS...
Instead of years to your life!
THE AGING PROCESS...
Could be slowed down if it had to work
its way through Congress!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE
GETTING OLD...
When you realize that caution is the only thing
you care to exercise!!
WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH...
How about a fountain of smart!
I'D RATHER BE OVER 50...
Than pregnant!
CAUTION:
www.olddog.com
attemptingnewtricks.com
IS IT TIME FOR YOUR MEDICATION?
www.olddog.com
attemptingnewtricks.com
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don't come close to matching the quality and impact of these 3.5" x
2" Desk Signs sitting in a business-card sized holder on your desk.
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