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We hope you'll try it. It's easy to get on, and very
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School Secretary, Vol. II Desk Signs...
Note: Depending on the fonts installed
on your computer, and the way your computer browser is set up, these
desk signs may not display properly.
(Ask for a free 10-pack sample the
next time you place an order. Then you'll be able to see the quality,
and the fun, of these "Desk Signs.")
THE BRAIN IS A
WONDERFUL ORGAN...
It starts working the moment you get up
and
doesn't stop until you get to work!
DON'T ASK ME TO THINK...
I was hired for my looks!
CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER...
My work here is almost done!
THE SOONER I FALL BEHIND
IN MY WORK...
The more time I'll have to catch up!
IF YOU ATTEMPT TO GET
BETWEEN ME
AND MY WORK...
You will have a good chance of success!
I'M NOT DEAF...
I'm ignoring you!
WHOEVER SAID THAT MONEY
CAN'T BUY
FRIENDS...
Obviously never brought bagels to this office!
EVERY TASK...
Takes longer than you think it will!
SOME DAYS YOU'RE THE BUG...
And, some days you're the windshield!
WHEN I WOKE UP THIS
MORNING...
I had one nerve left, and now you're getting
on it!
MY DESK MAY BE
CLUTTERED...
But my mind is empty!
WARNING!
These premises are guarded by an attack secretary!
LIFE IS AN ENDLESS STRUGGLE...
Full of frustrations and challenges,
but
eventually you find a hairstylist you like!
I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT...
Which way did you come in?
MY POLICY...
Is always to blame the computer!
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE...
For the person who doesn't have to do it!
FRIENDLY SARCASM...
It's just one more service I offer!
PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN...
Before starting tongue!
DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?
"WHEN ANGRY COUNT TO FOUR...
...when very angry, swear."
...Mark
Twain
I WELCOME YOUR ADVICE
AND CRITICISM...
And always rush them through the
proper channels!
(one flush usually does it)
PLEASE DON'T RUSH ME...
I'm making mistakes as fast as I can!
NO COFFEE...
No workee!
NOTICE TO THIEVES...
Anything in, or on, this desk is like my
husband:
Not worth stealing!
BEFORE YOU GIVE ME A
PIECE OF YOUR
MIND...
Are you sure you can afford it?
A WOMAN HAS TO DO
TWICE AS MUCH AS
A MAN...
To be considered half as good.
Fortunately,
this isn't difficult!
HAVE A NICE DAY...
(Unless, of course, you've already
made other
plans.)
CRISIS IN PROGRESS...
Please do not disturb!
NOBODY NOTICES WHAT
I DO AROUND HERE...
Until I don't do it!
OUT OF MY MIND...
Be back in five minutes!
PLEASE STAND BY...
I'm experiencing a temporary loss of motivation!
TELL ME AGAIN HOW LUCKY
I AM TO BE WORKING
HERE...
I keep on forgetting!
YOU KNOW AS WELL
AS I DO...
That there is a woman in charge of every
school
in this country—and it ain't the principal.
DESK HOURS...
Some mornings or afternoons, I'm not here
at all,
but lately I've been here just about all the time.
Except when I'm someplace else.
But I should be here then, too!
PLEASE, DO NOT ASK
FOR INFORMATION...
If I knew anything, do you think I would
be here?
YOU CAN BE VERY SURE THAT
ANY PROMISE
I MAKE...
Will be kept, partially kept, or broken!
COPIER
IS OUT OF ORDER... No—We
cannot fix it.
Yes—We
have called the service person.
Yes—She
will be here today.
No—We
do not know how long it will take.
No—We
do not know what caused it.
No—We
do not know who broke it.
No—We
do not know what you are going to do.
Yes—We
know what we can do with it!
TABLE
OF HELPFUL EXCUSES... (TO
SAVE TIME, I WILL GIVE YOU A NUMBER)
1.
That's the way we've always done it.
2.
I didn't know you were in a hurry for it.
3.
That's her job, not mine!
4.
I didn't think it was very important.
5.
I've been busy, I just can't get around to it.
6.
I thought I told you.
7.
I wasn't hired to do that.
MY
JOB... It's
not my place to run the train,
The
whistle I cannot blow.
It's
not my place to say how far,
The
train is allowed to go.
It's
not my place to shoot off steam,
Nor
even clang the bell.
But
let the darn thing jump the track...
And
see who catches he__!
ANSWERS
PRICE LIST...
Answers...
Answers (requiring thought)...
Answers (correct)...
Intelligent answers without sarcasm...
$2.00
$3.00
$4.00
$5.00
Dumb looks are still free!
Keep in mind, computer-generated
images don't come close to matching the quality and impact of these
3.5" x 2" Desk Signs sitting in a business-card sized holder
on your desk.
Paperbacks For Educators
426 West Front St.
Washington, Missouri 63090 800-227-2591; Fax 800-514-7323 paperbacks@usmo.com
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