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It's free and goes all over the world every Monday
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School Superintendent, Vol. I Desk Signs...
Note: Depending on the fonts installed
on your computer, and the way your computer browser is set up, these
desk signs may not display properly.
(Ask for a free 10-pack sample the
next time you place an order. Then you'll be able to see the quality,
and the fun, of these "Desk Signs.")
I KNOW THE RULES...
They just don't apply to me!
EVERYONE BRINGS
ME
HAPPINESS...
Some by arriving. Some by leaving!
TEAMWORK...
Means never having to take all of the
blame yourself!
IT WILL BE A GREAT DAY...
When schools get all the money they need,
and the air force has to hold bake sales to
buy a bomber!
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE...
The power of stupid people in large groups!
IF THE SUPERINTENDENT
ISN'T HAPPY...
Nobody is going to be happy!
SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENTS...
Are always right. Misinformed perhaps, maybe
a little sloppy, sometimes a bit crude, fickle,
bullheaded, even stupid, but never wrong!
THERE IS NOTHING
SO SMALL...
That it can't be blown way out of proportion!
RULE NUMBER 1... The superintendent is always right!
Rule number 2...
If the superintendent is wrong, see rule # 1!
IF YOU HAVE COME
HERE
TO COMPLAIN...
You have already used up 98% of your time.
I suggest you use your remaining 2% to
find the door!
ANOTHER MONTH ENDS...
All job targets met. All departments working
well.
All parents and students happy. All teachers and
staff enthusiastic. All pigs fed and ready to fly!
LONESOME? LIKE
TO MEET NEW
PEOPLE? DO YOU LIKE EXCITEMENT?
WOULD YOU LIKE A NEW JOB?
Just "screw up" one more time!
DIPLOMACY...
The ability to tell a person to go to where
the devil lives in such a nice way—
that he looks forward to the trip!
SOMETIMES THE
SQUEAKY WHEEL
DOESN'T GET THE GREASE...
It just gets replaced!
WHAT PART OF "NO!"...
Don't you understand?
I USED TO BE INDECISIVE...
Now, I'm not sure if I am or not!
IF YOU EXPLAIN
CLEARLY...
So that nobody can misunderstand,
somebody will.
DO NOT EMBARK ON VAST
UNDERTAKINGS...
With half-vast ideas!
NOT ONLY DO
I NOT KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON...
But I wouldn't know what to do about it if
I did!
YOUR RIDICULOUS
OPINION
HAS BEEN NOTED...
You can leave now!
FORGET WORLD PEACE...
Try visualizing a calm, peaceful staff meeting!
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS STAY
ON THE SHALLOW END!
ROME DID NOT CREATE
A GREAT EMPIRE BY HAVING
MEETINGS...
They did it by eliminating all those
who opposed them!
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE?
Is often the least important question!
"NO" MEANS...
"No!"
I'D LIKE TO HELP
YOU OUT...
Which way did you come on?
OFFICIAL NOTICE!
The beatings will continue until
morale improves!
IF YOU CAN REMAIN
CALM,
WHILE ALL AROUND YOU IS
CHAOS...
Then you probably haven't completely
understood the situation!
ME SUPERINTENDENT,
YOU NOT...
Please go away!
CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER...
My work here is almost done!
THANK YOU...
I am refreshed and challenged by your
unique and ridiculous point of view!
(You may now leave.)
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR
SYMPATHY...
You'll find it in the dictionary between
superintendent and tyrannosaurus.
NOTICE...
The
objective of all school employees should be to thoroughly
analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to
their occurrence, have answers for those problems, and
move swiftly to solve those problems when called upon!
We realize, however, that when you
are up to your derriere in alligators, it is difficult
to remember that your initial objective was to drain
the swamp.
THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT
YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH...
If it doesn't matter who gets the credit!
NO PROBLEM IS
SO BIG OR
SO COMPLICATED...
That it can't be run away from!
THE PERSON
WHO CAN SMILE
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG...
Probably has just thought of
someone to blame it all on!
I KNOW THAT YOU
BELIEVE
YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT
YOU THINK I SAID...
But I am not sure you realize that what you
heard is not what I meant!
YEA, THOUGH
I WALK...
Through the valley of the shadow of death,
I shall fear no evil. Because I am definitely
the
meanest superintendent in the valley!
FOR GOD SO
LOVED
THE WORLD...
That he did not send a committee!
OFFICIAL
COMPLAINT FORM
(Please print)
Keep in mind, computer-generated images
don't come close to matching the quality and impact of these 3.5" x
2" Desk Signs sitting in a business-card sized holder on your desk.
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