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Fiancee treats man more like a child than as a partner

DEAR ABBY: I'm engaged to a delightful woman from a foreign country. She's a divorcee, and her 19-year-old son is doing well in college. She essentially raised him herself. Because of some spectrum disorder and ADHD symptoms, her son was apparently a handful. I am healthy, have multiple advanced degrees (including an M.D. and a Ph.D.), and have enjoyed a successful and lucrative career. I have raised six happy, healthy and independent children. I've worked very hard and have a substantial bankroll.

My concern is that she tends to treat me like she might treat her son. She asks me (repeatedly) if I'm cold and suggests that I wear more clothes. She asks me if I'm hungry, thirsty or tired, and if I should exercise. I don't think she does it maliciously. I think she genuinely cares for me and is expressing her love with these matronly concerns.



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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