Lawrence T. Santos, a newly minted local author, has recently released his first book: 鈥淗ow Can It Be? Streets of Sin Turning into Streets of Gold.鈥� The book details a nonfiction account of Santos鈥� life and experiences during the year 1994.
鈥淚 was mired in addiction, methamphetamines,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淚 was a small-time trafficker. I was miserable. I was lost, lonely, without any faith.鈥�
One day, out of the blue, Santos said he had a spiritual epiphany and began writing.
鈥淚t was something that just came to me out of nowhere, out of my despair,鈥� Santos explained.
30 years later, this particular piece of writing 鈥� entitled 鈥淐aught beneath the Glass Ceiling鈥� 鈥� became the beginnings of his book. Santos explained that he was struggling with understanding how to rekindle happiness back into his life.
鈥淩ight at that time, I saw an epiphany in the sky,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淭he sun went dimmer and brighter, my attention was drawn out my window and I believe to this day that it was God awakening a spirit in me. A spirit to write 鈥� Basically I was shaking my fist at the heavens, daring God to show me he was there, and I believe he did.鈥�
Directly following this moment, Santos explained that he felt nearly everything in his life intensify. While he was working to find his faith, Santos鈥� drug trafficking connections began escalating to significant degrees.
鈥淚t seemed like almost simultaneously I started meeting bigger connections in the drug trade, to the point where it led to a man named Pops who was connected with a big operation happening at the border where they were crossing over a lot of illegal drugs, guns, money, ephedrine to make the drugs 鈥� it was basically a cartel connection,鈥� Santos said.
Much of the book, Santos explained, recounts feeling torn between his growing spirituality and criminal activities; he was constantly feeling pulled between his faith and his criminal occupation.
鈥淧robably the most encapsulating sentence in the book is, 鈥業 was teetering between salvation and damnation, at pretty much all times.鈥� I had God on one shoulder and the Devil on the other,鈥� Santos said.
Santos said he felt this internal conflict the most during a night he trafficked drugs to Holbrook, Arizona. Instead of simply completing his job and leaving, Santos wandered Holbrook all night.
By dawn, he wound up at a local Catholic Church and began speaking to a priest. Santos ended up arguing with him about the gravity of the spiritual experiences he had had up to that point.
鈥淚 thought because I had been hit by this light and could write all of a sudden, that I was just blessed,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淭he priest told me to be careful. He told me that Satan can come in anything, even a light. So I walked away mad at him. And I came running back an hour later asking him to help me. He gave me my first New Testament.鈥�
As Santos鈥� criminal involvement with 鈥淧ops鈥� and other drug trafficking connections magnified, he said he began to realize just how entangled in crime he was becoming. It was at that point, Santos explained, that he began to immerse himself in his newfound faith, leaving his addictions and criminal connections in the past.
鈥淕od saw me differently than I saw myself,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淗e saw me as a royal, as a beloved son, as a prince. He raised me up 鈥� I grew up poor, grew up wanting wealth all my life. I got shown that the real wealth was in the love that God was giving me and the family he was surrounding me with rather than the material.鈥�
Santos explained that his book depicts the entire transformation of his life; he chose to write it as accurately as he possibly could.
鈥淚t鈥檚 98 percent the way it happened,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淎s I lived through it I remember thinking 鈥榃ow, I鈥檓 in a movie鈥� because the whole thing was just so surreal鈥t was like learning Christianity through the eyes of a sinner who was trying to find salvation.鈥�
Despite countless attempts to get his story out into the world, such as through music and sermons, Santos explained that this nonfiction narrative is the only medium through which his story could be told.
鈥淎ll it really was for me 鈥� it wasn鈥檛 about the money, it wasn鈥檛 about trying to get famous 鈥� it was about the story that was like this seed planted in me,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淚 needed to pull it out and tell it. I had to.鈥�
Although his experiences could have been chronicled in hundreds of more pages, Santos said he chose to narrow the book in order to get his message across clearly.
鈥淭his book was my heart and soul,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 so small, but it could鈥檝e easily been 700 pages long. It was almost like a miracle a day. I felt like birds were talking to me. I felt like every living thing 鈥� plants and animals 鈥� were truly alive for those three months. It was just a magical time.鈥�
Over the span of 30 years, Santos faced numerous obstacles in writing his book. However, he said he feels the book was simply meant to grow and take shape in the time it did.
鈥淚f this even changes one life, if this book means something to just one person then I think I got what I wanted out of it,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淏ecause really, I鈥檓 on borrowed time. I probably should have been in prison or dead back then. This book is why I鈥檓 still here.鈥�
On Friday June 2, Santos had his first official book signing event at Flagstaff鈥檚 Brightside Bookshop. He said he is looking forward to hosting similar events in the near future. Santos said he would also be interested in developing his book into a movie, if given the opportunity.
Additional works could be on the horizon for Santos as well. He explained his interest in publishing a poetry collection or another nonfiction account of his experience with liver cancer in the near future.
鈥淚 am starting to believe that I have the heart of a writer and I maybe want to write some more books,鈥� Santos said. 鈥淚 know I want to tell stories of things I feel passionate about. I just don鈥檛 feel like I can do it any other way. It may not even be faith-based stuff.鈥�
Santos explained that his personal favorite part of the book is chapter 12, since it represents the summation of his entire journey to find his faith and leave his past behind.
鈥淚 summed it all up by saying 鈥楶eople may not believe that this all happened to me. They may not believe that I was touched in this way. Maybe it was just the drugs or I just willed myself out of addiction,鈥欌�� Santos said. 鈥淎nd I say 鈥榃ell that鈥檚 why the book is called 鈥楬ow Can It Be?鈥� because some of you may ask me and my response is 鈥楬ow can it not be?鈥欌��
Santos鈥� book, 鈥淗ow Can It Be? Streets of Sin Turning Into Streets of Gold鈥� can be purchased online through Barnes and Noble.