Once, a neighbor of mine reported her husband’s disappearance to the police. I accompanied her to the station. They asked her for a description, and she said, “He’s 6-feet-4-inches tall, muscular, with thick, curly brown hair.�
I said, “What are you talking about? Your husband is 5-feet-4, bald, and has a huge belly.�
Gallery: The Nutcracker Ballet brings the holiday magic back to Flagstaff
Nutcracker Ballet

Niko Mulligan dances as the soldier doll during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Lilliana Roccaforte dances the role of a snowflake during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Hanna Reinshagen dances the role of Arabian Coffee as viewed from the wings of the stage during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

"The Nutcracker" returns to Ardrey Auditorium at Northern Arizona University once again. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Cecelia Runge dancing as the Mouse King and Gauge Kenmore as the Nutcracker battle on stage during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium at NAU. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Amalia Baxter, far right, stands with the other Marzipan Sheep and Chinese Dancers as they wait to go on stage during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium at NAU. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Wesley Wolkowinsky dances the role of the Snow Queen during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium at NAU. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Lilliana Roccaforte, left, and Hannah Dodt, right dance as snowflakes while the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra warms up during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium on the NAU campus.
Nutcracker Ballet

Young ballerinas practice their roles as mice during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium at NAU. The ballet is presented by the Flagstaff Symphony Orchestra and NAU Community Music and Dance Academy.
Nutcracker Ballet

Ava Loescher, center, dances as a snowflake during a dress rehearsal for "The Nutcracker" on Wednesday night at Ardrey Auditorium.